Nesting...Still...

With my son, I nested by cleaning everything inch of our rental. I scrubbed till my fingers were raw. The house couldn't be clean enough. And I scrapbooked. I had his first year book all made and ready before we even had his first sonogram image.

With my daughter, I sewed. It was the one and only time in my life that I actually understood, for a season at least, how to sew a straight line and not break the bobbin. I sewed a little case for diapers in the diaper bag. I stitched together little birdies to hand on her carrier. I sewed a little dress {ok, that was kind of a fail, but I still have it and it might fit her baby doll}.

With Chloe...I didn't nest. I couldn't. I lived in fear each day wondering if she'd come early. I think we only bought a few things for her...a new outfit for going home, new strap covers for her carseat, a taggie. That was pretty much it. Didn't want to get our hopes too high. The last month of pregnancy, usually about the time my nesting instincts kick in, I was nervous, anxious, worried, and barely getting through each day.

So I never nested.

And now we're coming up on her heart surgery for a shunt in her heart. The theory is two weeks in the PICU and then back up to the NICU for continued healing. They say we could be here 4-6 more weeks, if surgery goes well. That seems like a long way off, but in our minds, after 17 weeks, we're ready. And home has a weird connotation. It won't be like when you normally bring an infant home...it'll be anti-germ to the extreme. It will be limited visits. We'll be hermits at first. It'll be like the NICU, only in our home.

So the last few weekends we've been home, I've started nesting...finally. And this time, it's sort of a combination of the nesting techniques I used with the other kiddos...it's organizing, creating, and turning chaos into order, which greatly reflects what it'll be like once we get home.

It all started like this, last weekend...cleaning and putting away laundry made me realize I hadn't cleaned out the "kids outgrown clothes" totes at the top of their closet. So I cleaned them out and boxed them up. And dreamed of the day when Chloe can wear Abi's old hand~me~down clothes. Throw on some chalkboard labels I already had, and there we have it. Organized. 

And if the closet is clean...then the rest of the room should be as well. Unfortunately, I couldn't just clean, I can't ever just clean. I have to rearrange. I've done it to relieve stress since I think I was 6 years old and would stay up late rearranging the furniture in my barbie doll house. When I was 12 I'd rearrange the living room with my mom. When I was 16, I'd stay up late rearranging my bedroom, shoving furniture as silently as I could as to not wake the rest of the family. So last Thursday was no exception. The kids were already in bed {obviously not sleeping} while I was reading them bedtime books. I realized they couldn't both see the book or me, and had a moment of inspiration to separate their bunks...but couldn't strategize how to do it by myself. But then the Lord provided...and a friend who was dropping off my diet pepsi got roped into the deal.

All of that hard work, and two days later, she chose this location:

The following day I went to Wal-Mart in an effort to find fall shoes for the kids because they thought it'd be fun to grow a whole shoe size this summer and now Abi is getting blisters as I try to shove her foot into an old shoe Cinderella-step-sister style. Couldn't find anything worthy or that would last more than two weeks, but as I wandered back to the check out, the pretty notebooks crossed my mind, followed by the thought, "I wonder if making a binder for all of Chloe's info would help me stay organized with doctor appointments, home health care, insurance, medications, trach care, etc. when she gets home." This quickly turned into, "Huh...I should also make a binder for my son and daughter that includes curriculum ideas, daily schedules, notes on behavior and how we're dealing with their precious little souls during this ordeal. Follow that thought with, "Perhaps I should make a binder for myself, sort of a home management slash personal management binder. Here's how it went down:

Text friend an hour earlier about running to Wally World together. Receive text back hour later, followed by me texting a picture of binder materials with caption "think I could organize my life a bit?" with a reply phone chat saying, "Are you without children? Come on over! I'll share my binder and tips!"

I love this friend. Aside from the fact that I'm jealous of her lengthy bouncing chestnut curls that fall perfectly into place no matter how many days it's gone without washing and added baby spit up for fun factor, she's also organized, witty, gentle, amazing listener, and her home decor puts my mind at ease. 

I showed up at 10:02pm. 

And I covered her table with my attempt at organizing a portion of my life so that I can turn a large sum of chaos into a slight bit of organized and functional living. 

And I stopped to snap this picture because every corner of her home inspires me, especially this little kiddie command corner by her kitchen...

I stayed up late working on the binders and in the end felt a bit more confident that we can do this.

Then last night a friend took me to heaven. It looked like this:

It was a great place for inspiration. And it gave me ideas on how to make Chloe a mobile for her crib back home. Here's my teaching moment for the day on how to make a mobile:

HOW TO MAKE A MOBILE 

~Materials Needed~

Ribbon

Plastic sewing round thingy {sewing section of Hob Lob}

Glue Gun

Fabric

Accents {I chose flowers}

Something to hang from it {I chose elephants, surprise surprise}

Then, after getting it all ready to go, I realized I had no scissors. And we're in the RMcD house, so I didnt' really have the resources at 10pm to find scissors. Either stop project {as a friend advised} or make do with whatcha have...like this! {teeny tiny pocket knife scissor thingy}I figured we've met our deductible and Truman Medical Center ER is approximately 2 doors down, so I went for it. 

Other essential materials include a way to plug in glue gun, so you might want to find a Hallmark Card and flip it over for a place to set said glue gun. Take picture to prove it. Notice all those bobby pins you can never find.

And eventually, here's what you come up with, and what you photograph hanging from your shower rod, because again, remember, you're not at home working on this project, so you made do. 

Chloe's daddy says it needs more pink, so I might need to find pink versions of the grey flowers and add to it. We'll see if creativity strikes or if exhaustion wins and I give up and consider the project done.

And to the friend who inspired me to make my own mobile...you promised if I made the mobile, you'd help figure out a way to attach it to the crib ;). Looks like your time has come! 

Headed home for a few days because they are looking to do her heart shunt next week, and once that time comes, we won't leave her side. So I need to rest now, and that means projects ;). I can only imagine what I'll try to organize this weekend. 

Please pray for safe travels to and from yet again.

Please pray for childcare to get set up smoothly, should we need it the week after next.

Please pray for growth and feeds.

Please praise for her amazingly good day today.

Please praise for this amazing gift He has trusted us to hold and keep.