Wednesday {tomorrow} holds most of the answers to that question. At the moment, she still doesn't tolerate being weaned from the oxygen much and thus is needing to stay on it. Other than that, she's still on lasix and another diuretic for fluid. But tomorrow we should know more...
Tomorrow is her bronchogram. Fancy word for scope of the throat to check for the possible trach ring and to see how the bronhomalacia {floppy airway} has healed up since last year. The big "if" is if there's a trach ring, which surgery to do. Repeat her current shunt and wait on the Glenn surgery//trach reconstruction surgery until much later {think fall or later}, or if there's no trach ring, to go ahead with the Glenn now. Bye-bye mixed purple blood. Hello better circulation.
So we wait. Still.
Waiting is the hard part. We've been waiting all spring to know more, to get her to feeling better and by better, we know that is only with this heart surgery. Not sure which procedure yet, but ultimately, either way, it's still open heart surgery. When waiting, it's so, so tempting to let the thoughts run and anxiety get hyped up. It's easy to begin to remember bits and pieces and picture everything in our minds that happened with last year's heart surgery. It's easy to realize that the moment we hand our precious daughter over to the surgeons is upon us very, very soon. It's easy to become anxious with our thoughts and anxiety about the surgery itself. To be anxious wondering the results of this bronch tomorrow to know what the next step is. To worry about so much....
Or we be still.
This past Sunday our family, well, minus sweet Chloe, was able to go to church for the first time in a year as a family. To sit in one pew and sing together. To worship together. And it was good.
Until I realized the topic of the message. Anxiety. Busted. I knew this would be convicting, which is a good thing. I can't honestly sum up all the amazingly true points that were addressed, so I'm including my notes I took during the sermon, and you'll see some key points there.
I talked over the message with my husband on the way back to the hospital afterwards, and we both agreed, this is where we're at right now. We wait. We be still and wait upon the Lord. Worrying and anxiety will not change anything...it will not add one minute to our lives. Or Chloe's. But trusting in the Lord with all our heart and waiting upon His timing is what we can do.
So here's the link to the message on anxiety. And my notes from the message. If you struggle with anxiety or worry, listen here...
Ok, so the above needs a lot of work and some photoshop, but it's what came to mind during message. And is worth focusing on.
Chloe is definitely teaching us what it means to wait upon the Lord and to lay all of our anxiety at His feet. So we wait. Patiently. Fully. And with hope.
Editor's Note: Here's that final version ;)
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