Saturday, September 5, 2015

Surgery Soon

I think we're nesting.

Surgery nesting.

I made freezer meals for family watching our littles. I introduced a little petite red head to a really good chef red head. Abi, meet the Pioneer Woman. She loved watching episodes and cooking with me. She also loved getting a fresh double chocolate muffin, warm from the oven.


We cleaned. We made the "while kids are with sitters//family" list of schedules, meals, medicines, contact info.

We cuddled and celebrated a birthday.

We are washing up bedding, and wiping down bathrooms.

I organized a small amount of school stuff for our oldest, not that he'll really get to any of it when there's a fun grandpa to play with instead.

We stocked the house of groceries.

I am procrastinating on packing the suitcase, yet again. I feel as though we've lived out of suitcases and bags for the last three months. I spose that's because we have.

It feels like when I nested for our other children. Spending last minute hours getting everything ready because we knew the moment we'd come home we'd be exhausted and ready to just sit. That's kind of the same mentality for when Chloe finally comes home, after a long summer in the PICU, after a long surgery, after a long healing. And doing all these errands and tasks and to-do lists helps pass the time and take my mind off what's to come.

But anxiety is starting to sink in a bit. Nerves for surgery day are coming on. This is the point where my heart begins to be torn, knowing I must leave two littles for the other little. I wonder sometimes how much of this they really understand. How much is really soaking in?

But kids are resilient, they say. Not sure who the "they" is, but so far, our kiddos are resilient. They've been amazing. Our hope is that they'll continue to be, even as we walk out that door with our bags packed ready for yet another stay in the city.



  1. Praying for all of you, especially the big two littles. Through the years I've met a few people who grew up with special needs siblings. They confess it really wasn't until adulthood that they grasped the extra attention the other sibling got. It's tough. Children are resilient but they also don't always understand. They just feel maybe not as special. Take heart. They'll get it someday. You work hard at making each one of your kids know they are special and loved so don't feel like you're failing on the days the older two seem put out or act up for extra attention. In life we all have to learn it's not about us. A & I are just getting a head start on the lesson ;) LOVE YOU!