Struggling Well

I drink a lot of coffee. It’s my jam. It’s what helps me push through the morning so that I can rock 2 PM like a champ.

My daughter told a complete stranger in the elevator that, “My mama drinks so much coffee or she can’t function.” No truer words were spoken.

When friends offer a coffee delivery, I don’t do the polite thing and say, “Oh that’s sweet, but I’m OK. Thank you for thinking of me though.” Nope. I text back, “Grande caramel latte with whip, extra shot of espresso!!” And then I know with a sense of security that my sanity will arrive in a little cup in approximately fifteen minutes.

And then my friend texts, “I’m sorry but I’m running late. I’ll be there in forty minutes!”

And I respond, “No worries. You’re good! See you in forty minutes!”

And then I secretly make a small pot and take a few sips from the homemade Coffeemate-infused concoction while I wait because I’m impatient and the struggle gets real when I don’t have my coffee. If I don’t have my morning coffee then I feel like the rhythm of the day is all messed up and off course. Even my little tribe has caught on to the fact that mama doesn’t function well without her caffeine.

This same scene plays out in my life. There are days that the struggle is too much, and I don’t struggle well because I take my focus off the cross. Where I have to honestly confess to myself as my head hits the pillow that the way I handled things was not pretty, but instead very messy.

We’re going through a crazy season and hard trial in our family these days. And the days and months are turning into years. But it’s a good trial, if there ever was such a thing. We’re thankful that God is sustaining us through this, and in this process He is revealing areas of our heart that need Him more deeply, and then cultivating a sweeter relationship with Him as a result.  

It hasn’t always been that perspective though. I have clung greatly to and worn the pages of my bible where Isaiah writes of the Lord,  

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” {Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV}

I’ve had to learn slowly that what I once thought was best for me might not match up with what the Lord thinks is best for me. I have gracefully, and not so gracefully, learned how to soak in those words and to trust in the One that loves me more than I could ever love myself, and He loves me enough to know what’s best for me.  

Because God knows the struggle is real when I’ve taken my eyes off Jesus.

To struggle well is a phrase that I stumbled upon in Lauren Chandler’s book Steadfast Love whose meaning has already nestled itself up within my being and determined itself to be a desire during this season.

These words remind me that I can rend my heart to God, and He will help me to remain faithful to Him, just as He remains steadfast in His love for me through any trial of this life. 

”For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” {Isaiah 55:10-11 ESV}

God’s word will not return void.

There is a purpose in this and He is up to something far more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

And we can all sip our morning coffee and rest in the comfort of this promise.